"I left believing, I came back knowing."

You're Always in the Last Place You Look - T.N. Gates

There are so many wonderful words in this book expressing so much emotion that in spite of the need for better editing, and believe me there is a need, I was more than willing to overlook the grammar errors and not just read but love this book.


There was a reality to the characters in this story that I sometimes find lacking in other books. Things weren't all black or white, there was a lot of grey just like the real world. Gabe and Zane worked so beautifully together. I fell into this story so completely it was like watching a movie.  In my mind I could picture the scenes, hear the conversations, feel the joy and the pain of Gabe and Zane's relationship, the heartache of Gabe's mother as she actively struggled to accept things and return to being the mother her son needed.  There was a moment when I was worried that I wouldn't like her. That I'd be angry at reading yet another book where a parent failed to give their child the unconditional love they deserve.  It was only a moment and the author turned it into a moment that I was glad happened. In the end I adored Gabe's mom.  There were other parts of the story like this where the black or the white faded to grey and redefined things.


Gabe...how do I explain this...Gabe was such a wonderful character.  He wasn't perfect but he was perfect for Zane.  Both of these boys have been hurt and battered by life in their own way, but Gabe was fortunate in that he has loving parents.  Gabe's dad is so awesome I think I might have been a little jealous of him for having such a cool dad.  He also discovered he had some terrific friends. Friends who truly cared and were more than willing to be there when he needed them, when it truly counted. So yeah, I pretty much adored Gabe and when he was happy, I was smiling too and when he hurt I cried with him.  


But Zane...well, Zane broke me. I thought he might and in the end I'm pretty sure he did.  No child should ever, ever have to experience what Zane went through and to do so feeling like they are alone in the world is beyond wrong. It was  painfully heartbreaking. I honestly don't remember the last time I cried more tears over a character then I did for Zane and that was well before I was done the book.  A lot of the tears were for the things he endured but some of them were for the fact that he did endure them and he stayed on the right side of sane (his words).  


In the end Gabe and Zane put things back together in  a way that was different than either had expected but also better in it's own way.


'You're Always In The Last Place You Look' is such a beautiful story and one that should be read and enjoyed for the beauty of what it says and not the flaws of how it sometimes says it.